Bully

                 The cheerleading squad, I am seated second on the right                                                              

  

                                                    

 There is a new movie out called Bully.  This movie spotlights five kids and their families who are affected in a school year by bullying.  Two students are lost to suicide.  I remember my grade school years.  I, too, was bullied.  It was sixth grade.  After my first time trying out for cheerleading, I made the squad.  The next day in school I was approached by a girl who wasn’t picked.  She was so angry.  She told me that I didn’t deserve to be on the squad because I wasn’t popular enough.  Really?  I knew I deserved it.  I couldn't believe I was going to be taunted over her feelings of rejection.  This girl was popular and one of the “ring leaders” of the in crowd, which was nothing more than a clique.  I think her ego was bruised when she didn’t make the squad.    

    My bully then said to me, “You better watch your back because I am going to beat you up when you least expect it.”  Kids heard it on the playground, but no one stepped in at all.  Even my friends looked away in fear of her.  After this threat was made, I didn’t want to go to school.  I was scared and embarrassed.  So much so, I did not mention it to my parents.  There I was attending a Catholic school; yet, I feared getting beaten up.  I spent the time looking over my shoulder and feeling sick all of the time.  Finally one day, I took charge.  After weeks of stares, chatter, and taunts calling me skinny, she got in my face to say something mean.  I had had enough and said to her, “I am not scared of you.  Go pick on someone your own size and leave me alone. I was picked and you were not.  Move on!  One day I will make a name for myself and you will still be small minded.”

    After that day, she backed down.  I had no choice, but to stand up for myself.  On that day, I obtained justice.  Now looking back to that time, I feel it has driven me to be all I can be today.  I also learned to move forward, never look back, and not let ANYONE bully me.  I meet many models who say they, also, have been bullied.  Reasons vary from not being pretty or popular enough to being too skinny or fat.  The bully doesn’t know the entire story.  He or she just assumes what he/she wants to assume about you and act out meanly to feel better about himself or herself.  For me, I have been skinny all my life.  I have to follow a special “diet” to survive because of food allergies.  My three girls don’t hear words like fat or diet from me.  In fact, I tell them to NEVER use me as a gauge to compare their body weight or image.  I refuse to set them up for food disorders or poison their self esteem.

    BULLIES or  HATERS (as I like to refer to them) will find fault with you because you have your act together.  They will nitpick at anything you do just to get under your skin.  They have insecurities or faced a failure in their lives, so they choose to lash out in jealousy.  Thank God I wasn’t a child which followed this dark road.  I was able to find the strength to stop in my tracks and stand up to my bully.  Many people who were bullied in the past turn into over achievers as adults and are very strong souls.  They can face many obstacles and have a thick skin to endure much criticism.

    Sometimes movies entertain us.  We can escape reality by going to see them.  This movie, Bully, is a documentary.  It is reality on the big screen.   Sadly, bullying is a big problem and the number of bullied victims increases daily.  Let’s hope that this movie will open the eyes of educators and parents, so they can step in early before it is too late for a bullied child.  No one should fear going to school.